islenska 04.07.06 I'm Your Queen.
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Lady

Iziee Lyana
OWNED NPMBIO

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.childish.recalcitrant.
loved.

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    18 jan: Naufal's Birthday
    26 jan: Naiimah's Birthday
    12 feb: ruzanna's birthday
    09 mar: Hani's birthday
    19 may: shida's birthday
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    27 oct: Lina's birthday
    12 nov: sis eezarhh's birthday
    26 nov: salmah's birthday
    07 dec: Thomas Fizzle's Birthday!
    15 dec: Izzah's birthday
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    Saturday, July 31, 2010

    not that i'm not thankful.
    but if only life is much more simpler...

    Lyy -* 12:16 PM
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    Thursday, July 29, 2010

    i want to move house again.

    Lyy -* 1:39 PM
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    Sunday, July 25, 2010

    Hectic weekend. I was a victim of the situation again. Although, it wasnt directed at me, I think Imma have phobia when you do THAT again. And yes, one day... just you wait for my revenge. I will eat lots of hard boiled egg yolk before revenging!!! And now I am super effing tired because of the rewang. I still have proteo lab (which is overdue..oh shizz), discussion with KS over the Arts Appreciation report, LSSS report and Janice's IEF updates to do. BUT! I will just complete the IEF anf the Arts Appreciation report today. Plus the proteo thing. Hehehe.

    Pray for me and my future~

    Lyy -* 7:48 PM
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    Wednesday, July 21, 2010

    learn to blame yourself entirely. I turned 8. Bloody 8

    Lyy -* 11:14 PM
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    Sunday, July 18, 2010

    Friday: felt better. maybe because its weekends.. thats why. reconciled.

    Saturday: island creamery, movie date Despicable Me 3D and lunch date + asmin (haha) at KFC. Listen to NSF bitching and talking about PT involving Rizal (-.-) in KSSNCC.

    Sunday: tuit, mama came with abah <3 and CREAM PUFF DAY! Damn shiok! Mum is awesome... =)

    Ok I love you Dhuha

    I love you Ohana

    I love you 4 unnies plus 1 maknae.


    Last week was really hard on me. Thank you for being there. With love.

    Iz




    Lyy -* 10:46 PM
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    Friday, July 16, 2010

    I shall try to bring out the best.
    And I love you. You and You all.

    And thank you for the long ride to nowhere.. It comforts me alot. Can I have more of that? But I dont wanna take account of you fuel cost. :)

    Anw, I wanna go on an eating spree. Just eat. JUST ONLY.
    And the highlight of the day, I feel much better and happier. Thank you everyone.

    Iz

    Lyy -* 9:57 PM
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    Wednesday, July 14, 2010

    I GUESS YOU MUST HAVE HATED ME. I REALLY MISS YOU. ANOTHER HORRIBLE DAY.. IDK WHATS IN FOR TOMORROW. THANKS N, K, S, G, L, E, S FOR BEING THERE FOR ME. I LOVE YOU GUYS. PRAY THE BEST FOR ME CAUSE YESTERDAY, I THOUGHT OF STH STUPID. I JUST HOPE I WONT TO IT. again.

    Lyy -* 11:31 PM
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    its always my fault. i understand that. part of my life.

    It wouldn't matter why we're apart
    Lonely months, two stubborn hearts
    Nothing short of God above
    Could turn me away from your love
    I need you that much

    Lyy -* 6:01 PM
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    TODAY.
    ___________________________________________________

    Lyy -* 2:10 PM
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    Tuesday, July 13, 2010

    I have no idea what have I become.
    I have no idea about everything and all I do is cry over spilt milk.
    Yesterday was damn grey. I thought today might be better but it turned out to be BLACK rather than white.

    I screwed genomics presentation. I was blur. I almost got knocked down by car. FYP no bands. My boyfriend fed up with me. Can it get any more worse? I am damn fucked up right now. All this plus my PMS, its driving me insane and I cant stand it anymore. I dont know where's my faith gone to. It just disappeared in thin air.

    I like to make people sad and it seems like something that I will keep doing forever. One made me feel self centered. One made me feel appreciated. One dont even care. One cares so much.


    I dont know what to do. Everytime I say this, I really mean it. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO. Ya lah, I know, I freaking cengeng and sensitive and childish and negative and I like to let myself just drown and die in this kind of situation. And I sound like an emo kid and I get fucked up almost every single day.

    I dont want all this. I never want to be like this. I hate you.

    Lyy -* 10:58 PM
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    Monday, July 12, 2010

    to all whom has been deeply affected.

    I apologise for the insufficient time spent with you all. I believe my schedule is worse than a celeb's and its getting worse each day no matter how hard I try to look on the brighter side of everyday. As a result of this, I have become increasingly lame and out of laughing gas. I make jokes that are anticlimax and people just donnt laugh anymore. Everyday I look at my piling stuffs, I heaved and my hands didnt wanna lay even a finger on those papers. They scare the shit out of me. Even though my CT marks improved tremendously (you can imagine my disgusting marks for CTs from year 1 till year 2), I fear for my exams as even now, FYP is taking a hell lot of my time. Plus, it didnt make me more hard working. I swear I could feel that I became a little more lazy than usual. Plus the supervisor and I have not much chemistry and I think he hates me for failing his module test and also, not wanting to have much conversation with him. (But I cant help it)... ):
    However on the lighter note, thanks you to all those human beings who were there for me when I desperately need to scream/cry/cut my wrist/yell. Boyfriend has become a great victim of the situation and I am realllllllly sorry. I swear I didnt mean to show attitude and all. SIgh. This life... is really a test from God.

    Anw, its 11.59. I hit my target of completing my stuffs before 12. Well, not really but I will continue it tmr in class. Pray the best for me for Genomics presentation ok? I love you all. Muacks.

    Iz
    anyway, today is really so blue. from morning straight to evening. Gah!

    Lyy -* 11:50 PM
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    Sunday, July 11, 2010

    happy 11th of july and soon I will be debt ridden by bills. I havent even pay my Singtel bills yet and my last M1 bill is coming together with the 2nd Singtel bill. Ah.

    Today although I feel happy, I feel sad. I felt jealous, plus the nightmare, plus everything. I dont know what I'm talking about. Dont ask me what I'm talking about. Sigh. I think my PMS is going to get activated soon. But I was really sad at coffee bean.

    sigh... i really feel like singing out loud on nights like this..
    iqwohrdnjfsbidcojfiuhwdnjdckifjodsjkiofubivnak.

    i shall go and hit the sack soon.

    Lyy -* 12:54 AM
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    Saturday, July 10, 2010

    If only we can watch Music And Lyrics together. I would really love it.

    But now you havent even sms me and its freaking the shizz out of me because you dont know how much I worry for you cause its twice the feelings you have for your bike. You never know that so now I am telling you.

    Lyy -* 10:19 PM
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    Wednesday, July 7, 2010

    Today I accidentally bit on my lips thrice. And its damn painful.

    Today the 2 old men who collected the samples for DNA sequencing looked at me like freaking cikopek.

    Today I watched BEAST and spazzed and shocked mummy sang to their SHOCK too.

    Today I am half progressive.

    Now, I am sleepy but I need to settle Rwanda.

    D:

    Lyy -* 10:31 PM
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    Monday, July 5, 2010

    for those who comforted me yesterday, thank you very much. Although M's condition is still uncertain, at least I feel better now. I was rash yesterday so I cant help but to curse and cry.
    Thanks to Nanny, Janice and Boyfriend. alot. (:

    Tonight I am being progressive! And I like it. Hahaha.


    Lyy -* 9:29 PM
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    Sunday, July 4, 2010

    M hasnt been feeling well these days. She keeps sighing and complaining to me and I could see her state is getting worse day by day. But I cant do anything much. I know what her symptoms are going to lead her to, and she knows it very well. But I dont know how to make her feel better and dont think negatively.

    Yesterday her face seemed swollen. If its not that obvious people wont ask. If its not obvious, surely her face wont show. I dont know what to do. Like seriously, I am so buntu now and I lost concentration in my work. :'( I didnt expect her condition to deteriorate so fast. I have lots to think about and now this.

    M has been sick. Me and sis and bro have been schooling. D is working and been thinking only for himself. When everybody is equally tired, he pushes us to help and he himself sit one side and besarkan tidur.
    When everybody is equally tired, he keeps nagging and not help.
    When she is sick, he sleeps and nag and nag. I AM FUCKING PISSED WITH HIM YESTERDAY, TODAY AND HOPEFULLY NOT TOMORROW. AND AS USUAL I DONT CARE IF I USE THE WORD FUCK. ITS MY DAMN BLOG.

    When M is sick... does he even care to take a fucking leave? ONE FUCKING leave for family matters... is it so hard? How come my grandma gets all the fucking opportunities and not my mum when my grandma has lots of other people taking care for her? WHY my father? FUCKING TELL ME WHY when he has lots of other siblings? I dont have multiple fathers for god sake!

    Seriously I dont care who reads my blog, hates this post, hates me, whatever ok. I've had enough of this fucking unfairness that occurs here. thats it. WHy wouldnt anyone care much? Fucking tell me what can I do when I am not even working and hopeless?

    When I was born, God didnt give me instant Einstein brain to think about miracles that can happen to cure this situation. He didnt. So, now, I feel fucked up, sad, damn angry and hopeless. I cant seem to get working. ):

    You dont know how this feels. The agony. It just stabs me in the heart and lands my ever running mucus on my keyboard. M hasnt been this sick before. I am really sad. I never cried like this because of her. I guess I've taken her for granted. All my life. Everytime I did sth wrong, she'll back me up, give me face. I've never given her much to be proud of. :(

    thats it. i'm done.

    Lyy -* 10:17 PM
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